The Writing Hiatus I wish I never took

Over the years I have found myself in what seems to be a continuous cycle of finding new passions that I immerse myself in only to be bored of them within a month. In grade eight I took on athletics and after coming last in long distance at our inter-house I decided that running was not for me, so I quit. In grade nine I decided to try out netball and see what all the rave was about and when I was placed in the B team (which isn’t as great as most would think considering the fact that there were only two teams) I decided that netball was too much of a “girly sport” for me. A statement that really makes present day me cringe because what the F is a “girly sport”. So, then I decided to try out tennis. My mother bought me a racket and for a good month I was determined, I was going to do this! But as the story goes , after the weekly torture of having to stand in the scorching hot Potchefstroom sun I realized that tennis and sports in general weren’t really my thing or let me rather say that anything that involved me being in the sun for longer than 5 minutes wasn’t really my thing.

After having decided that ‘sportswomen’ wasn’t a title that I would ever hold I began to explore my interests once more in a desperate attempt to find my niche. Crazy that at fifteen years old I was more worried about not knowing what I was going to do with my life more than I was worried about all the other things that fifteen-year-old girls should be worried about (boys, parties, makeup etc). It was around this time that I had taken on a liking to writing, more specifically to fashion writing and blogging, after having discovered the show ‘Fashion Bloggers’ on E!. To say that I was obsessed would be an understatement. I loved everything about it, from the glamour to their work ethics and all the beautiful pieces they would put together. I knew it was something I wanted to give a try. I started to collect fashion magazines every month (and would read them from cover to cover), I followed everyone I came across with a fashion blog and eventually tried my hand at starting my own. I had finally found my thing! And for a while it was exciting, until it wasn’t.

Like the impatient teenager I was, I started to lose hope as well excitement for my newfound passion after I failed to attract thousands of followers and likes for what I was putting out. I wanted instant gratification as well as results, not knowing that, that was not how the real world worked. And when I did not receive it I became lazy and disguised my laziness with excuses like “I’ll carry on when I’m not so busy at school” or “Its not really my thing anymore” when in reality it was my thing, more than anything else had ever been my thing and all the excuses I had made were just my fears of potentially not succeeding, taking the lead and stopping me from actually kicking ass as a blogger. So I “took a break”, the longest most unnecessary break which I wish I had never taken honestly, because not only did I rob myself of the chance of really growing in what I did but I had also robbed myself of the happiness that came with me doing what I enjoyed doing more than anything else really.

So, one day I sat myself down and gave myself a pep talk, and I really went in on myself. “It’s time to Stop Being Lazy Kals, because that won’t get you anywhere”, Along with a whole lot of other stuff that my mom says to me when she’s giving me advice (I’d like to think that all the pep talking worked because here I am now writing this blog post). So just to clarify in case you were confused as to why I am writing this: I am hoping that all the other people out there who decided to “take breaks” (aka give up on their passions all because they felt that their big breaks were taking too long to arrive), realize that Rome wasn’t built in a day and that the world needs to see your talent, no matter how long it takes them to realize it! (and that is a very big note to self too). So if it wasn’t obvious after the seven hundred and eighty-eight words I’ve just written, I’m back and (gradually getting) better than ever! I hope that you all enjoy your stay here because I don’t plan on going anywhere for a very long time.