The Truth About Being A Black Girl
Updated: Jan 31, 2023
a trip down memory lane.
There are three things in this life that I am very proud to stand for:
1. My South African heritage
2. My beautiful Melanin skin & 3. The fact that I was born a woman.
Yes, each of these may come with its own adversities and hardships, but it is in those very hardships that I have become the young lady that I am today. We all know that it isn’t easy being a woman let alone a woman of colour in a so-called (white) mans world and living in a generation where women are continuously scrutinized and belittled for every little thing they say, do or post, it forces one to grow thick skin. One of the soul purposes of my blog was to create a space where I can openly voice my opinions on matters that I find pressing and one of many matters that weighed heavy on my heart this week is that of the image that the world has created for what black women are/should be presented like to the world.
Nothing makes me happier than going on to various social media platforms and seeing women of colour being praised for merely just being, especially after years and years of being looked down on by the world and even sometimes ourselves. But being the analysts that I am, I can’t help but notice that the image of black women that is presented to the world isn’t always a realistic or true one. The “black community has unknowingly placed a lot of pressure on us as black women to present ourselves in a certain type of way. What do I mean by this? You ask. Well simply that its hard not to log on to Tumblr, Instagram or twitter without seeing a black girl being praised for her amazingly clear brown skin, how large and lovely her afro is or how fleek’d her edges are, now don’t get me wrong I’m always down to have clear skin, I mean who wouldn’t be? And I would love to have a full luscious afro and bomb edge control but that sadly isn’t the reality for us all.
A certain type of image has been built up around the 21st century black girl and what it means to be black and beautiful and it seems like some of us don’t always seem to tick the boxes. “Who cares?” some might say ‘do, you!” but such things are always easier said than done. As much as we all long to be different in our own ways and never want to be boxed in to the norms of society, inclusion is also a very normal thing to long for, and if we can’t even be included in the celebration of our peoples beauty then when will we be included?
Now I know that I don’t necessarily suffer from skin problems such as pimples, blackheads etc, but I speak for the girls who do when I say that it would be nice to step outside the house without having to feel like I need to cover up every dark spot and pimple to feel as beautiful as the girls that are constantly praised. Or have to get my old toothbrush out every time I take a picture to ensure that my edges are looking their best. The message that I’m trying to get across is that we need to start uplifting and praising the true essence of our black beauty and not the YouTube tutorial beauty that we have become so accustomed to. Its okay not to have the most amazing coconut oil infused skin and yes, having relaxed hair or even no hair at all is okay too, it does not make you any less of a beautiful black girl.
Malcom X said so himself "The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is a black woman and the most neglected person in America is a black woman." Not only do I believe this to be true but it counts for black woman not only in America but everywhere and I can assure you that those who disagree are neither black nor are they female. Now listen anything race related will almost never be discussed in peace and it is nearly impossible to understand the struggles that a specific racial group undergoes unless you yourself are part of that racial group. So please don't take my recognition of the adversities that come with being black as me disregarding those faced by other racial groups. But understand where , me a black woman living in the 21st century, comes from when I voice my opinions on the experiences and encounters I have had for the past 19 years.
Being black has never been easy.
Being a woman has never been easy.
Now imagine the difficulty of being a black woman. You are officially at the bottom of the food chain.
Like I said before, this conversation can go on for the next 50plus blog posts but I won't put you guys through that. Today I just want to get the truth out about one thing, which is not only the truth about the false black girl image that is being portrayed but the truth about "the angry black girl" too.
We've all heard it before, how black woman are always angry about something or always have something to complain about and each time I hear these kinds of statements I'm always taken a back at the fact that people expect us not to be angry. As black women we have always had a target on our backs. A target built up by the world (and yes that does includes some black men too). Where we are expected to look and behave in a certain kind of way and even when we do we still just don't seem to hit the mark. Let me break it down for you.
We all subconsciously have this image that we have created as to what we expect the average black woman to look like. If you're not getting the picture then let me help you draw it . At some point in I'm sure every black girls life we have had that moment where we looked in the mirror and frowned at the fact that our hips didn't curve just the right way or that our butt wasn't the perfect cross between JLo, Beyoncé and Kim Kardashian. Yes every girl has gone through insecurities with their bodies no matter the colour of their skin, we get that. But imagine constantly hearing how , your lips are too big or how your hips are too wide, as a black women only for it to be praised on a white woman. Black women just never seem to be enough , even for the black man at times. People want everything that black women have to offer expect the actual black woman.
We are in a constant fight not only with ourselves but with the world too. We have to continuously prove our self worth and that we are more than just our curves and edges, because it seems like that is all we are viewed for. Our Bodies.
Imagine being a black girl and hearing a black guy say that they would prefer dating white girls because they can go swimming with them without having to worry about messing their relaxer, yes I've heard this kind of **** before, and although everyone is entitled to their own preference and opinion that opinion should not bring others down or belittle them. Especially when the people you are belittling bare very similar resemblance to the woman that raised you.
Then you ask "why are black women always so angry?".
We are angry because we're made to believe that in order to be beautiful we have to be mixed, because being just black isn't enough. We are angry because our physical features have been made to be all that we are, when in fact we are so much more. We are angry because from the very beginning we have been silenced
and when we finally find our voices we are called "ratchet" or "rowdy".
But that's what makes black women so special, that even in our anger we are still able to forgive those who have never apologized and find beauty in ourselves even when the world can't seem to find it. Let’s build each other up, and not just some but all and this doesn’t just go for black girls but girls of every ethnicity, skin tone and background . Obviously I cannot speak for any other race but my own but I can speak for women when I say that as women we will always be far more stronger when we stand together than when we fight alone.
Oh and by the way Black Women aren't angry they're magic.
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