WHY DOES GETTING OLDER SCARE US ?

gerascophobia

/əˌraknəˈfəʊbɪə/

noun

1. fear of growing or aging

Going into a new year will always be scary and if the past three years are anything to go by it only makes sense that one would be fearful. We have had firsthand experience of things we previously would have only thought possible in a sci-fi movie or the end of the world (still debating this one though). So, it is understandable for us to want to look left, right and left again before cheerfully welcoming in the new year.

However, even with all the uncertainty that each new year may bring, much like death and taxes, one thing we can be certain of year after year is that we will grow older, God willing. We will awkwardly stand around a candle lit cake while the people we love sing us happy birthday (hopefully). And even though we do this every year, the thought of growing older still manages to shake us to the core. The thought that our best years may possibly be behind us. That we are growing closer and closer to the ages we used to cringe at, and that time may very well be up.

Somewhere along the line between childhood, adolescence and adulthood we have managed to replace the excitement of growing older with absolute dread and fear of the unknown. What we once viewed as the time of our lives to do whatever we want and be whoever we want now feels like an episode of stranger things, and the giant dinging clock is a reminder that our time is running out. Well, that is at least what we convince ourselves. That our twenty’s are the best and only time in our lives to make it big. We’ve somehow managed to feed into the crazy idea that our whole lives must be squeezed into the decade where we know the least about anything, and that if we are unsuccessful at this that we have failed at life. That if we don’t drive our dream car parked in our dream home that we bought with our dream job (that you are the CEO of by the way). While also managing to find and marry your dream guy or girl and have perfect little children, all between the ages of 21 and 35; that we have somehow flunked the test of life and that there is absolutely no chance at redemption, ever. That’s the tea we all seem to be drinking nowadays and I am going to need us ALL to put the cup down. While my favorite past time may be living in delusion, it is important to realize when to come back to reality. Lucky for you all I am here to play you your favorite song and help snap out of your dangerous delusion before you find yourself in the upside down.

Some time ago I was having this very conversation with my younger sister where I, amidst my long thoughtless rant, realized something profound that absolutely no one has ever thought to share before… We have time. Mic drop. Yes, the advice that literally everyone over the age of 40 has shared with any Millennial or Gen Z that is willing to listen, hit me like a ton of bricks and now I’m hoping it hits you too. You see, the thing about time is that no matter what, it will keeping moving forward. It stops for no one, under no circumstance, ever. Whether we fear it or not we will grow older. 20 becomes 21, 29 becomes 30 and so the wheel turns. So who, might it help to fight off the inevitable fate we all share, of growing older? No one. The answer is, it helps no one; to hold on to a past that you cannot change or to stress about an inevitable future that you have not lived. All we can truly do is work at making our present moments here on earth as fulfilling as we can.

I for one would hate to look back at life and realize that all my time was spent either worrying about the future or hanging on to my past, and none of it on actually living in the moment and enjoying where I am at. Especially considering how many of us do not always make it to the next birthday we dread. So much life is still yet to be lived and so many experiences await us, how can we possibly see that as a bad thing? Now, more than ever is when the childlike excitement for our future should be in full force.

Perhaps one of our goals for this year and in life moving forward would be to take more moments to stop and appreciate life for what it is. Not what the future could be or what the past could have been but to stop and live in the beautiful now.